Words
by NicolettexMarie
Summary: Words. The basic expression of thoughts, ideas, emotions. Written or spoken. What do words mean to Joey? But, more importantly, what do words mean to you? Please read and review! Complete.


**A/N:** Okay, so I'm a Dawson's Creek-o-phile. Lolz. I love me a good soap opera/teenage drama, whatever you want to call it. I think it was just about the best teen drama to grace TV in the history of teen dramas, but that's just me. So, as it were, I wrote a fan story about it, even though (disclaimer) I own nothing in, of, or relating to it. (Although, owning Joshua Jackson might not be so bad.) Anywayz, I was inspired by something else I'm writing, when I started considering words. What do they really mean? Nothing? Or everything? You decide. So, read it, review it, love it, hate it, whatever rolls your race car. Thanks!

**Words**

_Someone very wise once told me that words don't mean a thing. Pretty words and speeches can be made over and over until you are blue in the face, and still, they don't mean a thing. It is our choices that dictate who we are, and actions speak so much louder than words. The summer after my junior year in high school was the best one of my life_ because_ I chose actions over words, after such a long time of running from them. I knew I didn't want to hide the actions my feelings could bring about anymore, and the same someone who told me words don't mean anything was why. Yeah, I loved him. But like I loved his best friend? Never. So, even though they will not mean a thing to you, here are a few of the many words spoken when I was a teenager, and some of the words that changed both my life and me in ways that even still, I cannot comprehend. Some of the words that shaped who I am today, and dictated who I will remain. To me, these and _only_ these words mean not nothing...but everything._

* * *

"_Don'tcha ever just get tired of talking, Jo?"_

"_No, I don't get tired – I don't understand, Pacey, what are we – why are we just standing - !?"_

A statement cut off by a kiss. A kiss that, later, Joey and Pacey had agreed had been a mistake. A kiss that sparked questions into being, and made one teenage girl re-think her feelings about two very important boys in her life.

Joey loved Dawson. It was the oldest tale, the saddest song, the silliest stereotype that Capeside had to offer, even now. When they were kids, Pacey had teased them mercilessly, just for being best friends. When they passed into teenage years, it became not a question of if, or a smirk at why, just a matter of when. And, true to everyone who'd said it, Joey loved Dawson and Dawson loved Joey. For a while, it was perfect. Exhilarating. Beautiful. That was, of course, until Pacey, that other best friend, that stereotypical slacker, the always-ready-with-another-smartass-remark-party-boy, became more than simply the other best friend.

It still angered her that Dawson had enlisted Pacey to watch out for her, to this day. She knew he had done it all those years ago only to protect her, only because he cared... but if he had cared so damn much, why on Earth had he rejected her? And then, randomly, when she was just about to get back on track, wanted her back? Ugh, it made no sense – _he_made no sense. But the facts were, he had enlisted Pacey's help, and he had accepted, and for a long time, Pacey had been there for her where Dawson had not. It was odd, those months. Not because it was Pacey; she'd known him for years. It was odd because it wasn't Dawson. Dawson had been the only boy in her life since she was five years old; for a long time, he had been the only person on Earth who understood her, or even cared to. But then... then, when Dawson wasn't around, Joey found herself opening up to Pacey, in ways that she hadn't even known was possible, and she depended on him. She called him when AJ hadn't worked out, not Dawson. And at the time, she didn't even know what it meant, but it meant something, and Pacey had seen it, and she hadn't. She remembered fondly that that was the first time Pacey had ever kissed her – really kissed her.

Afterward, they'd agreed it'd been a mistake. She couldn't pinpoint why, but it had really, truly hurt her that they came to that decision. But even then, she couldn't fathom the feelings. She blew them off. She ignored them. She couldn't feel that way, not for Pacey. Not for Pacey.

But she did. He kissed her again, when they went away... and again, by the fire, after saying all of those sweet things... and there would be many, many more kisses to come.

* * *

"_If you felt... even one _shred_ of what I feel for you... then we wouldn't be standing here having this conversation."_

God, the words had almost killed her. The look on his face... she couldn't bear it. She didn't know what it was, didn't know why or how it had happened... but she _needed_ Pacey, needed him like she needed air to breathe. It wasn't right; it was wrong, wrong, wrong, and yet, it felt so wonderful that it tore her heart in two. And without thinking, Joey grabbed his hand and stopped him from walking away from her. She couldn't let him walk away, not like this, not without knowing what she had been trying to ignore for the last weeks, maybe months.

"_Pacey."_ She almost whispered, too choked up to manage anything but his name before she stood on tiptoe and kissed him like it was the last time she would ever see him. She could feel his hesitation, could almost grip in her hand the tension between them – but the kiss shot sparks through her that just hadn't been there in... well, ever. Kissing Pacey was nothing like kissing Dawson... and Joey knew already that she needed him. But in this instant, there was nothing, nothing but her and Pacey and their wonderful kiss that seemed to breathe new life into her entire being, seemed to wrap her up entirely and consume her with a touching warmth that she had long since lost with Dawson.

* * *

"_Because you love him like I love you. Only difference is, he loves you back the same way."_

The expression on Dawson's face... so tortured. It hurt her to see him like this, even after he had hurt her a year before. The way his eyes screwed up – so tight – in an effort not to cry... the way his fists clenched and the muscles in his jaw drew taut so that the effort was perhaps not so futile. She knew he would; she knew she was hurting him beyond repair... but she couldn't _not_ do this. If she didn't choose, she hurt them both... and if she chose one, she hurt the other. It was inevitable, unavoidable. And the things Dawson was saying, they were true, so true... she couldn't bring herself to be angry at him now, not when she knew how he loved her and that he was bidding her go _for_ her. She wouldn't ever be happy if she didn't find out, if she didn't go to him, to Pacey. She had to. She had to do something for herself this time.

So, she did. She ran, not looking back once at Dawson, not hearing him begin to sob over the wind and not seeing him fall to the deck from the pain she'd caused. She ran, away from her past and toward her future, ran to the one person who could make her feel like she was the only other person on the planet, to the one boy who could touch her in a place in her soul that even Dawson could not reach. There was room for both, but that, she didn't think about. She thought about Pacey, and ran harder. She had to reach him before he left, had to tell him...

* * *

"_I think I'm in love with you."_

"_You _think, _or you know?"_

And, God bless it all, she hadn't hesitated. She didn't have to. She knew the answer, just as well as she knew that the sky was blue... as well as she knew more about herself than she ever had.

"_I know."_

And with that, she made her decision... and had the best summer of her life because of it.

_This is not the end of my story; no, far from it. But it is all you'll get. The rest is mine and mine to keep, and you can imagine and fashion it any way you like. These words are my own. And though I have said it once, I will say it again, and for all eternity: they are words that may mean nothing...but also, everything._

_-Joey Witter_


End file.
